


Captain Handsy

by CoffeeKristin



Category: Hockey RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: First Time, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:43:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5713057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeKristin/pseuds/CoffeeKristin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonny's always handsy, until he's not, and Kaner doesn't realize how much he would miss it until it's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Handsy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [giidas (KatushkaK)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatushkaK/gifts).



> This is just a little nothing tumblr fic that I wrote to fix an angsty prompt by gaealynn because it made my buddy giidas sad. It was over 2000 words in the end, and I was encouraged to post it to AO3, so here it is. Unbeta'ed angst that turns into fluff.

Based on these images by [carnaldhiver](http://carnavaldhiver.tumblr.com/):

 

    
  
and this prompt/idea by [gaealynn](http://gaealynn.tumblr.com/):

“Honestly, in the first, Tazer looks 120% psyched and Kaner looks about 120% done.

  
Tazer’s general clingy/needy behavior and the way Kaner accepts but usually don’t return it kinda makes me think that Kaner’s been on board with the Epic Gay Love since the beginning, while Jonny has been all “You’re my best bro, bro. No homo, bro!” And Kaner gave it a shot a few times, but Jonny genuinely did not seem interested (or aware), and Jonny’s a really important part of his life, so he dropped that pretty quick.

But the handsy-ness has continued. Like, *all the time.* For years now.

And, like, Kaner doesn’t exactly *hate* it (he can’t really hate anything involving Jonny), but it’s not exactly his favorite either. And he’s not crying himself to sleep every night but the resignation is now probably part of his fundamental personality. And at this point he’s pretty used to it, it’s fine, but *is* a little much that Tazer’s still all over him when he’s not even encouraging it anymore (maybe even *more* all over him, wtf dude) and he’s really, really tired of people cornering him and giving him grave, concerned looks while saying, “Kaner, man, Tazer’s all over you all the time. Have you considered that–” And Kaner’s just “IKR?? FML.” But Jonny gets sad when Kaner doesn’t let him cling, and – well, like he said, he doesn’t exactly hate it. So he just keeps up a constant internal chant of “Be a bro, bro!” and tries really, really hard to like it the way Jonny means it.

And the thing is, Jonny’s NOT also angsting all the time because of unrequited love with Kaner, he’s just *actually* that oblivious.”

***

From the beginning of training camp, after the Cup win and that horrible summer, Jonny’s not the same. If he hadn’t called Patrick from South America, and reassured him, voice as intense and raw with honesty as Patrick’s ever heard, that he believed in Patrick, that he believed Patrick, he’d think that Jonny had… well. But he knows that’s not it.

But things are not the same.

Jonny’s still a little handsy, jostling Patrick and ruffling his hair, bumping him aggressively in the handshake line, and when they’re on the ice for a goal, cellying in his usual ridiculously goofy, over-the-top way. But it’s different, lesser somehow, and Patrick’s shocked at how much he misses it, given how hard it was on him, how much it could hurt to be in Jonny’s arms and know he didn’t mean it the way Patrick wanted him to.

And then Panini happens. At first he keeps to himself, but as their line heats up, he’s affixed to Patrick’s side more and more. He gloms onto Patrick, making him laugh, bumping his shoulder, chirping him delightedly in his awful and limited English. It makes Patrick smile, to have another rookie to mentor, and the way Panini elevates his game, elevates Patrick’s game, as the season wears on, it’s nice. It almost makes up for the way Jonny’s pulled back.

So he starts actively trying to avoid Jonny and his half-hearted embraces. It gives Patrick an excuse to slide away, avoid the worst of it, ignore how things between him and Jonny have changed. Jonny shoots him worried glances when he shrugs him off, when he pushes Jonny away, but Patrick ignores him. Just lets himself be gathered up by Panini, and even though it’s not anywhere near as good as being in Jonny’s arms, he likes it. Panini’s earnest and sweet, and he doesn’t mean anything by it either, but Patrick likes that. Likes that it’s not painful or awkward. That it doesn’t make Patrick want more.

One time when Patrick looks up as Panini drops an arm around his shoulders, Jonny’s glaring at Panini, face dark and set. Patrick wants to believe it means something, but he’s learned it doesn’t; Jonny’s just possessive and Panini’s new, and that’s all it is.

But in December, once the streak is over and they can all relax and just play hockey, Jonny starts paying attention to Panini. Teeks has just shipped out to Arizona, so at first Patrick figures that Jonny’s just showing Panini a little more attention to make up for losing his best friend on the team. But as the hair ruffling and the pushing and the wrestling increase, Patrick’s starting to feel weirdly… angry about it all. Jonny stands up for Panini when he’s taken down by Letang, and suddenly all the easy affection Jonny usually sends Patrick’s way seems likes it’s directed at Panini. It rankles, it makes something in Patrick chafe where he’d managed to come to some kind of fragile peace with his ridiculous feelings for Jonny.

So while he’d like to say it’s because Jonny’s horning in on Patrick’s territory, but he knows that’s not it. He doesn’t like sharing Jonny with anyone. Not like this.

When Jonny and Panini start a special handshake ritual at the end of games, Patrick’s had about enough. He glares at Jonny as he skates off the ice after they thump the Avalanche, tapping Jonny’s glove aggressively but avoiding the usual chestbump thing they do. Jonny darts at frown at him but the line’s moving too fast, and Patrick’s second star, so Jonny just taps his arm as he clomps by on his was to the locker room. Patrick avoids his eyes and fumes, images of Jonny and Panini horsing around at practice, of Jonny whispering in Panini’s ear - the kid doesn’t even really speak English, what the fuck could Jonny be saying to make Panini smile like that?! - dancing in his head.

They pull Jonny out for the NHL Live spot, and Patrick’s glad, he doesn’t want to deal with Jonny when he’s feeling this raw, this vulnerable. They run longer than usual, and most of the team’s filtered out when Patrick’s back, a towel wrapped around his waist, hair dripping down his back.

Jonny’s sitting in Panini’s stall, hand on his shoulder and a soft smile on his face. Patrick throws his shower kit down and it clatters off the bench onto the floor, contents spilling everywhere. Jonny looks up, concerned but Patrick turns his back, throwing everything back into the bag and tossing it into his locker. He’s dressed and out of the room before Jonny, and almost to his car before Jonny catches up to him.

“What the fuck, Kaner?” Jonny says, and when Patrick turns around, Jonny’s face is tight and angry. “You seem so - Breadman thinks you’re pissed at him. Hell, I think you’re pissed at him. Or is it me?“  
Patrick’s jaw tightens and he shrugs, looking away.

"Pat?” Jonny’s voice is confused, the anger gone. He sounds sad, and it makes Patrick droop. “Did I do something?”

“No! Yes! I mean,” Patrick sighs, his anger draining away in the face of Jonny’s concerned, sad look. “You just - you’re not - I,” Patrick trails off. “I’m not mad.”

“Then what?” Jonny grabs Patrick’s arm, shaking him a little. Patrick knows the look on Jonny’s face, knows it means he’s not going to let it go. “Fine, but not here.” He unlocks his car. “Can we go to your place?” Patrick’s parents are still in town and this isn’t a conversation he wants to have with them around. They’ll just make fun of him. Or look at him with that sad, resigned expression they’ve started to get when Patrick talks about Jonny. He’d prefer the mocking, if he’s honest.

When they get to Jonny’s, he grabs a water and a gatorade while Jonny makes them kale smoothies. By unspoken agreement, they don’t talk about anything other than the game - finally chasing Varlomov was extremely satisfying, especially since he was the one who ended the streak - until they’re sitting on Jonny’s pristine white sofas.

“So, what’s going on with you?’ Jonny asks finally, settling back against the cushions, even though his body is tense. "If you’re not pissed, then what? You’ve been acting weird since we got back from the circus trip.”

“You’re not - you don’t fucking touch me anymore!”

Jonny’s mouth drops open and he gapes at Patrick, blinking.

“Fuck,” Patrick says softly, his heart sinking. “Fuck.”

“I don’t - you,” Jonny swallows. “I didn’t think you wanted me to touch you. I thought - you were - this summer.” He swallows again. “I mean, after we won the Cup, TJ chirped me about how I was always grabbing you, hugging you, and, and. I didn’t-”

“Jesus, Jonny, what the fuck are you doing listening to fucking TJ Broshie about anything! The guy’s a dick, and he hates me, and - ”

“No, Pat, listen, he just -” Jonny sits up, looking fiercely determined. “He knows how I feel about how. He knew before I did.”

“Yeah, well, so do I,” Patrick spits out. “We’re buddies, bros, you like me as a friend, blah blah blah. You didn’t need fucking Broshie to tell you that -”

“Not just as a friend, Pat,” Jonny says earnestly. “I - fuck. I like you, okay?”

Patrick snorts bitterly. “I know, Jon, we’re buddies.”

“No, Pat! I’m fucking in love with you, I just didn’t see it until TJ asked how long we’d been fucking, pissed I hadn’t told him. I mean, I told him we weren’t, he laughed at me, told me I was in love with you, and sent me all these, I don’t know, videos or vines or something, and I realized he was right.” His mouth twists. “Well, obviously not about us fucking, but about me being in love with you.”

“You…” Patrick’s mind is reeling. “You’re in love with me?”

“Yeah,” Jonny says. “Yeah. And I didn’t tell you because I know you’re not in love with me, and it’s fine, I just - I needed to back off, or I was gonna do something dumb, like kiss you or, or, shit, confess my love in front of the entire UC.”

“God, you’re dumb,” Patrick says, his brain coming back online. “Pretty. But so dumb.”

“Fuck you, Patrick, don’t make fun of me-” Jonny breaks off as Patrick climbs over the cushions and plants himself in his lap. “What. What are you -”

  
Patrick kisses him fiercely, dizzy with hope and need. Jonny’s passive, lips parted and still under Patrick’s, and he’s about to pull back, mortified, maybe Jonny didn’t mean -

Jonny comes to life under him, hands on his hips, pulling him closer, fitting him into the cradle of Jonny’s pelvis. He devours Patrick, licking into his mouth, sucking on his lip, biting a little, just hard enough to make Patrick wince before licking over the spot. Jonny’s stitches are rough on Patrick’s lips, the scratching adding to the sensations overwhelming him, and he has to pull back, panting, pressing his forehead to Jonny’s.

“Is this - does this mean,” Jonny asks him after a long moment. “Are you in love with me, too?”

“Yeah,” Patrick kisses him softly. “Yeah, asshole, I love you, too.”

“How long,” Jonny kisses along Patrick’s jawline, licking at the spot just under his ear before biting his earlobe gently.

“Since the Olympics,” Patrick shivers when Jonny sucks a little on his earlobe.

“Two years ago?” Jonny pulls back. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Uh,” Patrick’s face flames. “Not Sochi, Vancouver.”

“Vancouver!”

Patrick sighs. “Yes, Vancouver, Jon.”

“But-”

“Listen, I’m going to tell you, I promise, but, not now?” He looks at Jonny pleadingly. “Can we just - can it wait?” Jonny looks like he wants to argue, and Patrick just can’t. It’s too soon and he’s too raw, so he grinds down against Jonny, against his cock, and Jonny moans and his hands tighten on Patrick’s hips. “How about we go upstairs instead?” Patrick says, grinding down again, and when Jonny moans, he leans in and whispers in his ear. “I want you to fuck me, Jonny. Can you do that?”

“Shit,” Jonny says, surging off couch, Patrick still in his arms. “Shit yeah I can do that.”

 

***

_I'm on tumblr @[coffeekristin](http://coffeekristin.tumblr.com/) and I occasionally post nonsense like this. Come say hi!_


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